AMBA, Australian Multiple Birth Association, Blessed, Children, Dad, Daddy, epiphany, Family, Growing Up, Hero, Hugs, Inspiration, Life, Love, Madness, Memories, Mr.Dad, Multiple Parent, Multiverse, Parenting, Role Model, Travel, Truth, Twins, Wardy
Tonight in part 6 of this series, I look at how you can prepare for the kids to come home.
If you have read the first five parts of this series, you are well on your way to being ‘prepared’ for a change in lifestyle, relationship and finances. So what tips are left? Actually, a lot!
The tips I have given thus far are based on my own personal experiences, blended with other Mums and Dads that I have spoken too. Now what happened for us may not happen for you, yet there are a few common things that you may like a heads up on.
1] The obvious one I can think of is, is the house ready?
– Bottle Station (if required)
– Frozen Meals
– Spare Room for Grand Parents or relatives that may be coming to stay and help out initially
– Pantry is stocked
– Lawn is mowed
– House is clean
– Stocked to the rafters with nappies, wipes and clothing you don’t even know if it fits or not.
2] The Car:
– Full tank of fuel
– No worn tyres
– Check spare tyre is ok too!
– Check the battery as well
– Baby capsules installed
– Change bag in the boot – Contains 4 x Cloth Nappies, Wipes, Dettol hand wash, tissues and a change of clothes
3] The Family:
– Who is helping out with what?
– Is anyone coming to stay?
– For how long….don’t let it linger on, have an initial time frame that can be renegotiated after the initial agreed upon time is up. Most couples like some time alone after the first wave of visitors has been through. Depending how much room you have will also determine how much you get on each other’s nerves.
– Reaffirm how you’re going to raise you kids to the family. Remember that ‘How your Mum used to do it’ is not going to go down well with the wife being told what she is and isn’t doing right. EVERYTHING we do as parents is wrong, it’s up to you to ask for help and not to be told. The rest you will eventually figure out as you go. There is NO right or wrong (except safety), there is only ‘what works for YOU’ as a couple.
– This is a little left field but go grab take away menus from you local restaurants, coffee shops, pizza places and other food outlets. Handy to have, just in case!
– Make sure friends, family and work colleagues don’t have a surprise shin dig waiting when you get home. Get a few days to a week under your belt first. You’re going to be tired, excited and under the pump until your new routine kicks in. It’s like moving house, you don’t know what you’re going to walk into until, well….until you actually walk into it!
Ok, so the kids have arrived, depending on your time in NICU or special care (if any), you may have a simple trip a few blocks away though to travelling up to half a world away. Tee up two or three cars if you can. Car one is for you, the wife / partner and the kids, car two carries all the luggage, flowers, presents, etc. Car three the relatives, grand parents, etc.
Taking the kids home is as important as the day you got married / eloped / came out, etc. It was all about the two of you, now it it is about the 4,5 or 6 of you. It is something you can’t repeat and it is a nice chance to reflect on your journey home. From finding out you were pregnant, to then discovering it was twins, triplets, quads or more through to what was stressful to what now seems funny in hindsight. In some cases it may seem all a little surreal that your about to start a whole new chapter of your lives together. Then there will be silence as this all sinks in….now you can start to get nervous….
These few short moments will make you realize just how dependent you are about to become on each other. Each of you will handle it slightly differently, but in the end it comes down to how prepared you are (there’s that word again!).
You have entered the Multiverse and there is no turning back. This realm is like no other you have experienced before. You will become the centre of attention everywhere you go. People will comment, stare, make statements that you will hate before the first month is out and you will deal with things like the lack of Parents with Prams parking, no twin trolleys when shopping…and the list goes on…..
Although our twin boys are only 21 months old, this stage seems almost like a lifetime ago. Be warned, the milestones come so think and fast you won’t have time to blink,….in a good way. You will suddenly discover that life is about amazingly rapid changes that slow down over time. Going through clothes sizes, or even skipping a size entirely, is not uncommon, especially if they are premmies.
Once you are home, have one or two helpers (usually family), who will do the list of things like cooking, washing and ironing while you guys adjust to what the kids need. Notice I say what the KIDS need, not you, not the guests, not family or friends need but what the kids need. What you WANT becomes totally irrelevant,…..for a little while at least. If you haven’t already done so, make sure you get in touch with your local multiple birth club.
If you’re in Australia, go here —-> http://www.amba.org.au/clubfinder
From here, I wish you the best of luck, the most blessed journey and a wonderful new chapter in your lives. Soak it up, suck it up and enjoy every moment of it.
Remember, life is like a roller coaster, it has its ups and downs but it’s your choice to scream or enjoy the ride.
In part 7, I’m going to talk about when is the best time for the Dads to take time of work.