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In concluding this series on becoming a Dad of Multiples, I felt it necessary to round off my experiences with some pointers on where to get professional help.
It is all to easy for me to tap away on a device and spit out words of wisdom, yet it would be more prudent to let you know that there is so much more out there. You’re not a lone voice in the wilderness so the question that begs to be answered is where can we get professional help?
There are a variety of places to get help as parents, not only for those of multiples, but there are a few specific places that I will list below.
For Multiple Parents:
1] Your first port of call before you even become parents in Austraila is AMBA, the Australian Multiple Birth Association.
We became members when were 3 months into our pregnancy and I have continued to be active by being the current Dads EPIN Contact for our local club. This organisation is completely run by volunteer Multiple Parents like myself.
Link –> http://www.amba.org.au
To find you local AMBA club, go here –> http://www.amba.org.au/clubfinder
2] Specifically for the Multiple Dads, I have a FB Group. A place where Dads with Multiples (Twins, Triplets and more) can get and share information on their experiences. We are just Dads with different experiences that we hope can help those who are on, or going on, this journey. We are not medical professionals and do not profess to be so. Regardless of how you became a Dad of Multiples (Natural, IVF or Surrogacy), I hope we can listen, suggest or point you in the right direction. Be respectful to all members as well, as they could hold the key to helping you as well as others.
3] Life has it’s ups and downs and depression or more specifically Post Natal Depression affects nearly half of ALL MEN AND WOMEN. Getting professional help is a key to keeping together these days and if you’re not quite ready for Professional Counselling but still need someone to lend an ear, try these organisations:
Beyond Blue –> http://www.beyondblue.org.au. PH: 1300 22 36 46
Lifeline –> http://www.lifeline.org.au. PH: 13114
Another great local resource is your GP. We all have to start somewhere but more importantly that we do start. Your family need you and if it all gets a little much sometimes, it’s nice to have somewhere to turn for ‘those days’.
We’re only human, but we are Dads n Mums to multiples after all.
People with one child or even those who have two close together will not understand completely, as much they would like to think they do, they don’t.
This is NOT a disparaging comment or meant to be rude.
It is just a fact, just like a guy thinks he knows what it’s like to go through labour or a lady thinks she knows what it is like to be kicked in the you know whats.
If you are parents to multiples, it can be a stressed out time for some more than others. We are all different and we all handle stress differently, so even then it’s not a level playing field.
A single parent to multiples with reflux and no support is a super Mum compared to two parents with no reflux. Watch your friends, help out if you can and don’t be afraid to ask for help.
The multiverse is a journey you will never forget, but make it for the right reasons as much as possible.
On a closing note, I have a few individual people that I would like to thank personally. Although they might not know it, we have drawn from their experiences to make our journey a lot easier. They have shared their stories with us, taken time to welcome us into the Multiverse as they were with others before them.
So thank you….
Bree & Nicole – you welcomed and shared many things with us, including your friendship…xo
Tania & Jo – old hands that made new people feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel. 🙂
Suzana from Munich…words carry a loooong way but they have been heard very well down under.
Ali, where would we be without you?
Roxanne, A late night miracle worker and inspiration!
Mandy in NZ, just across ‘the ditch’, a calm voice of reason..xo
Natasha…on par with us and fellow nightowl to chat too! 😀
David & Sheree, our sounding boards when we get the chance. xo
All the ladies from the support group ‘Support, questions and chat for feeding multiples….and Melissa and Pieta for keeping it such a great place to belong.
To our immediate family, surrogacy families and friends. Your support and contributions have made a world do difference to us.
And lastly, to my wife Tina, may we both continue to love this journey as much as we love each other. We are a family, we are complete and we have two of the most gorgeous boys anyone could ask for.
May the multiverse be all you hoped for, take your breath away and I hope you will continue to follow our journey as our boys grow over time.
I’m sure I will continue with a new series as our boys move from being infants into being toddlers. So until then, be well, be prepared and be proud of being of a multiple parent!