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Tonight I am going to take a walk. A walk to a place that I have not been for many, many years. A place that was once so idealogical, pure and simple yet now seems but a distant memory of a young boy of times gone by.
A young boy that is now a husband and a Dad, with a new set of worries and fears.

Welcome to my past and how things, for me, have changed over the years.

As far back as I can remember, I have always been good with kids. They always took a liking it me, stopped crying when I held them and could, in most cases, raise a smile or a giggle or two. It was at the age of thirteen that I decided I wanted to be a teacher but by the time I reached the end of year 12, the were headlines of men abusing the trust of parents and I was advised that I ‘wouldn’t be welcomed in that career path’, so I detoured.

I started this detour with work in hospitality, moved on to warehousing and wholesaling to Fountain and Waterfall Technology across into retail, then my own business in sales and finally into my current role in sales for a national company. This doesn’t include my first job as a paperboy, pizza delivery guy, working for a landscape yard as a delivery driver, Avon, Tupperware or Amway dealer.

My fears were, and still are, great and many. I’m now a husband with two year old twin boys and the weight of responsibility is bearing down hard on a man in his mid-forties. I have survived several rounds of redundancies and two internal restructures through the GFC period. Everyone does more with less and we’re supposed to be happy and grateful about it.

Travelling for work while the boys have been growing up hasn’t been ideal, but it has allowed me the odd night of a full nights sleep at least. Ever since the boys have arrived, I have been wondering if I have been a good Dad and husband. I volunteer for my local AMBA club as a Dads contact, run a Multiple Dads FB page and still try to do my fair share around the house, full time work and remember the wife still likes to have a conversation a few times a week.

Like most Dads, I stress over things like bringing in a good wage, will I see my kids grow up (my own Dad passed away when I had just turned 21), can I do more or be a better Dad or Husband. The truth of the matter is I don’t know, it’s still a work in progress.

I have the same fears as you and every other parent. Will my boys do well at school, will they get jobs in the future, will I be around to see it all, yet more importantly, I just want to make sure they are happy.

My optimism tends to outweigh anything negative, but occasionally, like tonight, I wish I didn’t think so much. I guess I’m just ‘living the dream’ as they say. One just hopes that I don’t wake up too soon then….