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Tonight I flew back into town after being 2000KM away for most of the week for work. I missed the boys being awake by 30 mins, but it didn’t stop me going in to their room to watch them sleep.
it is something I have always done, and hope to be able to keep doing for years to come. It may not seem like much, but to me…..well, there is nothing like it. It is always special to see my boys looking so content, even if they look like they are trying to invent some new form of contortionistic pose.
Getting the chance to cover them with a blanket, touch their face and listening to them sigh in their sleep just makes me feel like, well,like a real Dad. Looking at their faces, which I swear have changed since I last saw them, makes me both melancholy yet warms my heart at the same time.
Tiny, bittersweet moments, knowing that these days will not last forever. They are always precious moments that I treasure, even more so after being away. Being able to just ‘be in the moment’ is such a rare joy in such a busy world these days. Somehow nights like these stir things deeply within me to the point of a small tear even though I am not feeling sad. It is something that I can truly not put into words for you to understand.
It’s a moment, it’s a time un to itself, it’s is a another place that I relish, rejoice and relax within. A place of total calm that washes over your entire being. My soul takes joy in connecting with them while I watch their chest raise and fall. It is with complete pride, love and affection that I know these two boys have stolen my heart for all eternity.
I’m a Dad…..wow….just saying it seems so surreal sometimes. There are times before they arrived that have now faded into insignificance. There are days ahead that I both look forward to, yet silently hope they take a little longer to reach.
They turn two next month, the time has both raced by and stood still at the same time. Memories have been forged, milestones have been met and surpassed, moments of inspiration, frustration, beauty and bewilderment all thrown into a blender and released within me at the same time.
This has been the ride of my life, a dream of tender patience mixed with epiphanies to many to count and yet I am here….I am watching and I am in love. Yes there will be trials, tribulations and tears. Yes, there will be more memories, madness and laughter. Yes, it will be over all to soon but tonight……tonight I just give thanks.
Tonight I get to be a Dad, tonight I am a Father and tonight, for just a few silent minutes my world are my boys sleeping as I watch over them.
Tomorrow, ….. *deep breath*….. tomorrow I just can’t wait for them to discover I am home and see their reactions. Daddy slipped away in the night early in the week and now Daddy has returned the same way.
Tomorrow is going to be a hug fest in bed when they wake me up
Tomorrow is a day I look forward too in so many ways. Tomorrow I will still be home and tomorrow is going to be something so special……
Tonight my dreams shall be sweet and I hope yours are too…..